Angela McGlowan: Fox News Contributor Running For Congress

Wall Street Journal columnist John Fund writes that “one of the highlights of last weekend’s Tea Party Convention in Nashville was the appearance of Angela McGlowan, a Fox News contributor and former GOP congressional staffer.”

She electrified the crowd when she hinted she would be announcing her candidacy for Congress from neighboring Mississippi in a few days. If elected, Ms. McGlowan would become only the third African American elected as a Republican to the U.S. House in the past 75 years. “Conservatives advocate policies that recognize the innate value of all humans, as opposed to liberal policies that demean the poor and disadvantaged by encouraging victimhood,” she told the enthusiastic crowd.

McGlowan’s district is currently represented by Democrat Travis Childers, who has held the seat since he won a special election in early 2008.

Fund describes McGlowan as “feisty” and a “force of nature,” but concedes that this potential member of Congress is “not conversant with the details of all issues.”

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Angela McGlowan: Fox News Contributor Running For Congress

Wall Street Journal columnist John Fund writes that “one of the highlights of last weekend’s Tea Party Convention in Nashville was the appearance of Angela McGlowan, a Fox News contributor and former GOP congressional staffer.”

She electrified the crowd when she hinted she would be announcing her candidacy for Congress from neighboring Mississippi in a few days. If elected, Ms. McGlowan would become only the third African American elected as a Republican to the U.S. House in the past 75 years. “Conservatives advocate policies that recognize the innate value of all humans, as opposed to liberal policies that demean the poor and disadvantaged by encouraging victimhood,” she told the enthusiastic crowd.

McGlowan’s district is currently represented by Democrat Travis Childers, who has held the seat since he won a special election in early 2008.

Fund describes McGlowan as “feisty” and a “force of nature,” but concedes that this potential member of Congress is “not conversant with the details of all issues.”

Watch

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Angela McGlowan: Fox News Contributor Running For Congress

Wall Street Journal columnist John Fund writes that “one of the highlights of last weekend’s Tea Party Convention in Nashville was the appearance of Angela McGlowan, a Fox News contributor and former GOP congressional staffer.”

She electrified the crowd when she hinted she would be announcing her candidacy for Congress from neighboring Mississippi in a few days. If elected, Ms. McGlowan would become only the third African American elected as a Republican to the U.S. House in the past 75 years. “Conservatives advocate policies that recognize the innate value of all humans, as opposed to liberal policies that demean the poor and disadvantaged by encouraging victimhood,” she told the enthusiastic crowd.

McGlowan’s district is currently represented by Democrat Travis Childers, who has held the seat since he won a special election in early 2008.

Fund describes McGlowan as “feisty” and a “force of nature,” but concedes that this potential member of Congress is “not conversant with the details of all issues.”

Watch

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Jilly Gagnon: Some Enchanted Evening

You’ve had your eye on that special lady for awhile; from your command post at the end of the block, and the one just outside her office, and the cameras you’ve set up in the trees nearest her bedroom window. Now it’s time to show her how much you care by celebrating your shared love with the sort of gift that no one else could give … because you’ll sign the attached note in your own blood. Maybe if she just sees your blood, she’ll understand how she pulses through you, and makes you itchy all over, and keeps you up nights, GOD, it BURNS.

Make it a Valentine’s she’ll never, ever be able to forget, no matter how many sessions she and her therapist devote to it, with these handy tips:

*Nothing says “I love you” like burning those words into her front lawn! Make it personal; is she a green freak? Use an organic accelerant! Know from what you’ve found in the recycling bin that she wears Chanel? You’d be surprised how lovely it smells when it’s being burned into sod! Is her favorite movie American Beauty? Make sure to film her reaction from a carefully concealed location, then send her the movie anonymously later as a lovely follow-up gift!

In fact, make sure you film it no matter what. You’re gonna want to have a copy of that on hand.

* Sometimes the real meaning of the holiday can get lost under all the commercial trappings. Put the “Saint” back in Saint Valentine’s day this year with a traditional gift: the artfully arranged corpse of a pet (Don’t worry — you can move up to even more highly valued loved ones when you two get more serious!)

The martyrdom of a spiritual innocent will remind her of the true meaning of the season, and the fact that there’s no trace of the head will let her know who’s really in control of who gets to nuzzle whom around here.

* Sure, uncomfortably expensive presents are nice, but sometimes those little gestures – fixing the shower cam, weaving a hair doll from what you’ve found in her pipes, sewage, and pillow, or taking the time to implant the GPS tracking device under her skin yourself, by hand – mean a lot more.

* Spice up your love story with a little game play!

Make her night into a very naughty version of Let’s Make a Deal with a box of decadent chocolates … and a hidden roofie.

If she doesn’t seem in the mood for game play, press her buttons by pressing play on the video you made of Mr. Kittikens looking very much in need of mommy’s help, wearing just the most adorable sign around his neck about how her cooperation is the only way to save his life. Now you know why you saved that head!

Here’s the real deal you’re making: they’re all roofied.

* All any woman is really looking for is an intimate candlelit dinner with her knight in shining armor.

After you’ve given her the chocolate appetizer, lock the door to make sure no one interrupts your special time. Once you candle-light the curtains, she won’t know what’s more overwhelming: the beautiful, and unproveable-as-arson, flame of your love for her, the smoke inhalation, or the roofies starting to kick in.

If all your careful Valentine’s planning doesn’t win her over, the daring rescue you’ll stage will guarantee that she’ll see you as her savior forevermore! It will help, of course, if you ensure that she never gets a chance to see anyone else again, just in case you’re not the type to count on retrograde amnesia to do your wooing for you!

And don’t forget to make it about her — now would be a great time to use up the rest of that highly-flammable perfume and organic accelerant, just to make sure she knows you’re really committed to getting her out of this her way, or maybe succumbing with her, Romeo and Juliet style, as a final act of devotion.

If that doesn’t spell true love, trace over the words another time with a freshly-sliced fingertip.

Read more: Stalking, Valentine Stalking, Valentine's, Humor, Satire, Valentines Day, Comedy, Comedy News

Read original article here

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Jilly Gagnon: Some Enchanted Evening

You’ve had your eye on that special lady for awhile; from your command post at the end of the block, and the one just outside her office, and the cameras you’ve set up in the trees nearest her bedroom window. Now it’s time to show her how much you care by celebrating your shared love with the sort of gift that no one else could give … because you’ll sign the attached note in your own blood. Maybe if she just sees your blood, she’ll understand how she pulses through you, and makes you itchy all over, and keeps you up nights, GOD, it BURNS.

Make it a Valentine’s she’ll never, ever be able to forget, no matter how many sessions she and her therapist devote to it, with these handy tips:

*Nothing says “I love you” like burning those words into her front lawn! Make it personal; is she a green freak? Use an organic accelerant! Know from what you’ve found in the recycling bin that she wears Chanel? You’d be surprised how lovely it smells when it’s being burned into sod! Is her favorite movie American Beauty? Make sure to film her reaction from a carefully concealed location, then send her the movie anonymously later as a lovely follow-up gift!

In fact, make sure you film it no matter what. You’re gonna want to have a copy of that on hand.

* Sometimes the real meaning of the holiday can get lost under all the commercial trappings. Put the “Saint” back in Saint Valentine’s day this year with a traditional gift: the artfully arranged corpse of a pet (Don’t worry — you can move up to even more highly valued loved ones when you two get more serious!)

The martyrdom of a spiritual innocent will remind her of the true meaning of the season, and the fact that there’s no trace of the head will let her know who’s really in control of who gets to nuzzle whom around here.

* Sure, uncomfortably expensive presents are nice, but sometimes those little gestures – fixing the shower cam, weaving a hair doll from what you’ve found in her pipes, sewage, and pillow, or taking the time to implant the GPS tracking device under her skin yourself, by hand – mean a lot more.

* Spice up your love story with a little game play!

Make her night into a very naughty version of Let’s Make a Deal with a box of decadent chocolates … and a hidden roofie.

If she doesn’t seem in the mood for game play, press her buttons by pressing play on the video you made of Mr. Kittikens looking very much in need of mommy’s help, wearing just the most adorable sign around his neck about how her cooperation is the only way to save his life. Now you know why you saved that head!

Here’s the real deal you’re making: they’re all roofied.

* All any woman is really looking for is an intimate candlelit dinner with her knight in shining armor.

After you’ve given her the chocolate appetizer, lock the door to make sure no one interrupts your special time. Once you candle-light the curtains, she won’t know what’s more overwhelming: the beautiful, and unproveable-as-arson, flame of your love for her, the smoke inhalation, or the roofies starting to kick in.

If all your careful Valentine’s planning doesn’t win her over, the daring rescue you’ll stage will guarantee that she’ll see you as her savior forevermore! It will help, of course, if you ensure that she never gets a chance to see anyone else again, just in case you’re not the type to count on retrograde amnesia to do your wooing for you!

And don’t forget to make it about her — now would be a great time to use up the rest of that highly-flammable perfume and organic accelerant, just to make sure she knows you’re really committed to getting her out of this her way, or maybe succumbing with her, Romeo and Juliet style, as a final act of devotion.

If that doesn’t spell true love, trace over the words another time with a freshly-sliced fingertip.

Read more: Stalking, Valentine Stalking, Valentine's, Humor, Satire, Valentines Day, Comedy, Comedy News

Read original article here

Sphere: Related Content

Jilly Gagnon: Some Enchanted Evening

You’ve had your eye on that special lady for awhile; from your command post at the end of the block, and the one just outside her office, and the cameras you’ve set up in the trees nearest her bedroom window. Now it’s time to show her how much you care by celebrating your shared love with the sort of gift that no one else could give … because you’ll sign the attached note in your own blood. Maybe if she just sees your blood, she’ll understand how she pulses through you, and makes you itchy all over, and keeps you up nights, GOD, it BURNS.

Make it a Valentine’s she’ll never, ever be able to forget, no matter how many sessions she and her therapist devote to it, with these handy tips:

*Nothing says “I love you” like burning those words into her front lawn! Make it personal; is she a green freak? Use an organic accelerant! Know from what you’ve found in the recycling bin that she wears Chanel? You’d be surprised how lovely it smells when it’s being burned into sod! Is her favorite movie American Beauty? Make sure to film her reaction from a carefully concealed location, then send her the movie anonymously later as a lovely follow-up gift!

In fact, make sure you film it no matter what. You’re gonna want to have a copy of that on hand.

* Sometimes the real meaning of the holiday can get lost under all the commercial trappings. Put the “Saint” back in Saint Valentine’s day this year with a traditional gift: the artfully arranged corpse of a pet (Don’t worry — you can move up to even more highly valued loved ones when you two get more serious!)

The martyrdom of a spiritual innocent will remind her of the true meaning of the season, and the fact that there’s no trace of the head will let her know who’s really in control of who gets to nuzzle whom around here.

* Sure, uncomfortably expensive presents are nice, but sometimes those little gestures – fixing the shower cam, weaving a hair doll from what you’ve found in her pipes, sewage, and pillow, or taking the time to implant the GPS tracking device under her skin yourself, by hand – mean a lot more.

* Spice up your love story with a little game play!

Make her night into a very naughty version of Let’s Make a Deal with a box of decadent chocolates … and a hidden roofie.

If she doesn’t seem in the mood for game play, press her buttons by pressing play on the video you made of Mr. Kittikens looking very much in need of mommy’s help, wearing just the most adorable sign around his neck about how her cooperation is the only way to save his life. Now you know why you saved that head!

Here’s the real deal you’re making: they’re all roofied.

* All any woman is really looking for is an intimate candlelit dinner with her knight in shining armor.

After you’ve given her the chocolate appetizer, lock the door to make sure no one interrupts your special time. Once you candle-light the curtains, she won’t know what’s more overwhelming: the beautiful, and unproveable-as-arson, flame of your love for her, the smoke inhalation, or the roofies starting to kick in.

If all your careful Valentine’s planning doesn’t win her over, the daring rescue you’ll stage will guarantee that she’ll see you as her savior forevermore! It will help, of course, if you ensure that she never gets a chance to see anyone else again, just in case you’re not the type to count on retrograde amnesia to do your wooing for you!

And don’t forget to make it about her — now would be a great time to use up the rest of that highly-flammable perfume and organic accelerant, just to make sure she knows you’re really committed to getting her out of this her way, or maybe succumbing with her, Romeo and Juliet style, as a final act of devotion.

If that doesn’t spell true love, trace over the words another time with a freshly-sliced fingertip.

Read more: Stalking, Valentine Stalking, Valentine's, Humor, Satire, Valentines Day, Comedy, Comedy News

Read original article here

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Senator Robert Menendez Asked Fed To Aid Bank Led By Donors

Sen. Robert Menendez of New Jersey urged the Federal Reserve last July to approve an acquisition to save a struggling bank in his state. He didn’t mention that the bank’s chairman and vice chairman were big contributors to his political campaign.

If the acquisition had been approved, it would have prevented the two executives from losing what was left of their investments in the bank.

More on The Fed

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Mexico Earthquake: 5.7 Magnitude Quake Strikes Oaxaca, Mexico

A strong earthquake struck Mexico this evening, registering with a 5.7 magnitude, according to the USGS.

The Mexico earthquake struck in the Oaxaca region in southern Mexico, 285 miles southeast of Mexico City. It had a preliminary magnitude of 5.9 before being revised to 5.7.

Reuters reports that the epicenter of the earthquake was Miahuatlan, Oaxaca, Mexico.

Some Twitter users in Mexico City reported feeling the quake, though others said they did not.

There were no immediate reports of damage or injuries.

This is a developing story.

More on Mexico

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Abdulmutallab Interrogation Critics Now Insist They Deserve A Pass For Their Ignorance

On yesterday’s edition of “Meet The Press”, John Brennan took the opportunity to blast his GOP critics for politicizing the war on terror. A worthy cause, considering how consistently wrong and foolish they’ve been on all matters related to the failed Christmas bomb attack.

On the show, this part stood out:

BRENNAN: On Christmas night, I called a number of senior members of Congress. I spoke to Senators McConnell and Bond. I spoke to Representative Boehner and Hoekstra. I explained to them that he was in F.B.I. custody. That Mr. Abdulmutallab was in fact talking. That he was cooperating at that point. They knew that in F.B.I. custody means that there’s a process then you follow as far as mirandizing and presenting him in front of the magistrate.

None of those individuals raised any concerns with me, at that point. They didn’t say, “Is he going into military custody? Is he going to be Mirandized?” They were very appreciative of the information. We told them we’d keep them informed. And that’s what we did. So, there’s been quite a bit of an outcry after the fact. Where again, I’m just very concerned on behalf of the counterterrorism professionals throughout our government that politicians continue to make this a political football. And are using it for whatever political or partisan purposes.

Yesterday, I gave myself a pat on the back for correctly intuiting that the process went something like this:

1. Captain Crotchfire happens. He is detained and treated as you would anyone who tried to kill people with an incompetently weaponized scrotum.

2. GOP lawmakers are informed.

3. Some time passes. It looks like nothing bad has happened, so this can be politicized.

4. A plan is hatched to politicize this. It does not make any fucking sense, but whatever. People remember being scared, they can be made to be scared of a sad and lonely loser who pasted flammable goop on his balls for the glory of his Sky-God.

5. Al Qaeda is like: “Wow. Thanks for taking an incident that would normally make us embarrassed to be in the terrorist business, and turning it into a super-successful field op! We will definitely associate ourselves with this sad loser.”

6. We are honestly asked to entertain the possibility that it would have been better to have tortured this sad loser, so that we could have some false intelligence, presumably on this network of sad losers who paste gunk to their taint and set them afire.

7. The media aids and abets the cynical opportunists who populate the political landscape, and they should all die in the snow but they won’t.

Now you can add the eighth part of the process: the part where the same GOP lawmakers, weeks after the fact, now think they deserve a pass because HOW SHOULD THEY KNOW HOW THE F.B.I. works, anyway? Via Spencer Ackerman, at the Washington Independent:

Sure enough, Sen. Chris Bond (R-Mo.) and Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-Mich.), the ranking Republicans on the congressional intelligence committees, insisted that Brennan never specifically told them the FBI would Mirandize Abdulmutallab. “If he had I would [have] told him the Administration was making a mistake,” Bond said. The entire Republican leadership, including fact-averse Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and House GOP leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) echoed Bond’s claims in one form or another. Apparently these men, who claim leadership on national security, know less about FBI procedure than the average movie-goer. Obviously the FBI Mirandizes suspects in their custody.

I think that Hoekstra’s inclusion is worth noting, because no one is faster to grandstand on national security issues than Hoekstra. Maybe if, in the end, he’s so ignorant in the basics of law enforcement procedures, he should just calm down, shut up, stop twittering, and of course maybe rein in his instinct to turn everything he knows nothing about into an opportunity for personal enrichment.

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to tv@huffingtonpost.com -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]

Watch

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Abdulmutallab Interrogation Critics Now Insist They Deserve A Pass For Their Ignorance

On yesterday’s edition of “Meet The Press”, John Brennan took the opportunity to blast his GOP critics for politicizing the war on terror. A worthy cause, considering how consistently wrong and foolish they’ve been on all matters related to the failed Christmas bomb attack.

On the show, this part stood out:

BRENNAN: On Christmas night, I called a number of senior members of Congress. I spoke to Senators McConnell and Bond. I spoke to Representative Boehner and Hoekstra. I explained to them that he was in F.B.I. custody. That Mr. Abdulmutallab was in fact talking. That he was cooperating at that point. They knew that in F.B.I. custody means that there’s a process then you follow as far as mirandizing and presenting him in front of the magistrate.

None of those individuals raised any concerns with me, at that point. They didn’t say, “Is he going into military custody? Is he going to be Mirandized?” They were very appreciative of the information. We told them we’d keep them informed. And that’s what we did. So, there’s been quite a bit of an outcry after the fact. Where again, I’m just very concerned on behalf of the counterterrorism professionals throughout our government that politicians continue to make this a political football. And are using it for whatever political or partisan purposes.

Yesterday, I gave myself a pat on the back for correctly intuiting that the process went something like this:

1. Captain Crotchfire happens. He is detained and treated as you would anyone who tried to kill people with an incompetently weaponized scrotum.

2. GOP lawmakers are informed.

3. Some time passes. It looks like nothing bad has happened, so this can be politicized.

4. A plan is hatched to politicize this. It does not make any fucking sense, but whatever. People remember being scared, they can be made to be scared of a sad and lonely loser who pasted flammable goop on his balls for the glory of his Sky-God.

5. Al Qaeda is like: “Wow. Thanks for taking an incident that would normally make us embarrassed to be in the terrorist business, and turning it into a super-successful field op! We will definitely associate ourselves with this sad loser.”

6. We are honestly asked to entertain the possibility that it would have been better to have tortured this sad loser, so that we could have some false intelligence, presumably on this network of sad losers who paste gunk to their taint and set them afire.

7. The media aids and abets the cynical opportunists who populate the political landscape, and they should all die in the snow but they won’t.

Now you can add the eighth part of the process: the part where the same GOP lawmakers, weeks after the fact, now think they deserve a pass because HOW SHOULD THEY KNOW HOW THE F.B.I. works, anyway? Via Spencer Ackerman, at the Washington Independent:

Sure enough, Sen. Chris Bond (R-Mo.) and Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-Mich.), the ranking Republicans on the congressional intelligence committees, insisted that Brennan never specifically told them the FBI would Mirandize Abdulmutallab. “If he had I would [have] told him the Administration was making a mistake,” Bond said. The entire Republican leadership, including fact-averse Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and House GOP leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) echoed Bond’s claims in one form or another. Apparently these men, who claim leadership on national security, know less about FBI procedure than the average movie-goer. Obviously the FBI Mirandizes suspects in their custody.

I think that Hoekstra’s inclusion is worth noting, because no one is faster to grandstand on national security issues than Hoekstra. Maybe if, in the end, he’s so ignorant in the basics of law enforcement procedures, he should just calm down, shut up, stop twittering, and of course maybe rein in his instinct to turn everything he knows nothing about into an opportunity for personal enrichment.

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to tv@huffingtonpost.com -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]

Watch

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