Scott Ott, editor of ScrappleFace.com, is also columnist for The Washington DC Examiner. Here’s an excerpt from his latest column, and a link to read more. You can access his other DC Examiner columns, or view PDF versions of the street edition of the paper, any time by clicking the ‘Columns‘ link at the top of the ScrappleFace homepage.

Just a day after U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner proposed increasing U.S. contributions to his former employer, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) by $100 billion, he offered another plan to increase funding for NASA space probes to search for life, and sources of bail-out cash, on other planets.

“Let’s face it,” said an unnamed Treasury source, “Earth is too big to fail. We can all boost funding to the IMF, but at some point that’s like scooping water out of a bucket to fill the same bucket. The fundamental problem is that Earth is a closed economic system. To rescue the global economy we need help that’s literally out of this world.”
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Geithner boosts NASA funds to probe cosmos for bail-out cash

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Scott Ott, editor of ScrappleFace.com, is also columnist for The Washington DC Examiner. Here’s an excerpt from his latest column, and a link to read more. You can access his other DC Examiner columns, or view PDF versions of the street edition of the paper, any time by clicking the ‘Columns‘ link at the top of the ScrappleFace homepage.

Hailing a new era “when science is restored to the proper side of the political aisle,” President Barack Obama on Monday promised miraculous cures for a wide range of ailments when he signed an executive order expanding the scope of Bush-era federal funding for embryonic stem cell research.
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Embryonic stem cell study offers cure for global warming

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(2009-03-07) — As he signs an executive order Monday lifting limits on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, President Barack Obama said he intends to make the wealthiest Americans “bear their fair share of the burden.”

Following through on his inaugural promise “to restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost“, the president will order the National Institutes of Health to extract stem cells from embryos whose parents earn more than $250,000 per year, and to inject them into “the sick and crippled middle class.”

“Let me be perfectly clear,” Mr. Obama said, “if your family earns less than $250,000 per year, the federal government will not harvest one single stem cell from your embryos…not one single cell. In fact, for 95 percent of working families, my stem cell plan contains nothing but miraculous healing. That’s right, the cures are on the way.”

President George Bush, widely credited for blocking embryonic stem cell research, actually presided over the first federally-funded work in this area, only limiting the study to several dozen existing stem cell lines to avoid creating a market for what he called “spare parts” derived from humans.

“My predecessor kept us in the Dark Ages, allowing his morality to hinder our quest for immortality,” said President Obama. “And today, some say we should focus on adult stem cells, or other technologies with better track records that harm no one. But those voices fail to recognize that great achievement never comes without great sacrifice. We must not shrink from the certain surrender of what seems precious, because we fail to believe in that one-in-a-million chance at the miraculous. History will judge us.”

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Obama to Harvest Stem Cells from Only Wealthy Embryos

(2009-03-06) — U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton delivered a bold challenge in the European Parliament Friday, encouraging her audience to “never waste a good crisis” and seize this moment of global turmoil to build less carbon-dependent economies.

To demonstrate her commitment to clean, green transportation technology, Secretary Clinton will abandon her State Department jet and return to the United States astride an experimental flying bicycle.

The bike, built with a $735 million government grant as part of the Kansas-based ‘Project Elmira’, is just one of many advanced energy-security solutions that make up what some have dubbed ‘The New Green Deal’ of the Obama administration.

Like most green initiatives, the flying bicycle “requires some getting used to,” said a State Department spokesman. “But when you look out your window and see Hillary Clinton pedaling by in the clouds, laughing with joy, you realize the future is closer than you think.”

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After Green Speech, Hillary Returns from Europe on Bicycle

Scott Ott, editor of ScrappleFace.com, is also columnist for The Washington DC Examiner. Here’s an excerpt from his latest column, and a link to read more. You can access his other DC Examiner columns, or view PDF versions of the street edition of the paper, any time by clicking the ‘Columns‘ link at the top of the ScrappleFace homepage.

Just a day after a financial audit of General Motors showed “substantial doubt” that the automaker could stay afloat, the Obama administration announced a new rescue plan designed to “restore GM to its rightful status as the global symbol of labor union innovation and productivity.”
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Obama Rescue Buys New GM Car for Each New Bureaucrat

(2009-03-06) — When U.S. President Barack Obama meets with Queen Elizabeth II in advance of the G20 economic summit in April, Mr. Obama plans to continue his tradition of giving meaningful gifts to British dignitaries.

When Prime Minister Gordon Brown visited the White House this week, he received from the Obamas a collection of Top 25 American movies on DVD and his sons got toy versions of the president’s Marine One helicopter.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said the president has also put a lot of thought into what gift to present to Her Majesty at Buckingham Palace.

White House insiders report Mr. Obama has narrowed it down to a CD box set, Queen: The Crown Jewels, or a queen-sized mattress.

At the moment, the music seems more likely, since the image of a bare-armed Michelle Obama, with rippling biceps, carrying the mattress into the palace might detract from the pageantry of the moment.

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Obama to Meet Queen, Planning Gift of CD Box Set